Dancing with Fire: A Mindful Way to Loving Relationships by John Amodeo

Author:John Amodeo [Amodeo, John]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Publisher: Quest Books
Published: 2013-06-14T22:00:00+00:00

Trauma Can Damage Intimacy

Our body’s mechanisms for ensuring our security can unwittingly shield us from intimacy. Habitually protecting ourselves, we may not extend welcoming vibes that broadcast the message that we are safe to approach. Greeting people, we may display a stiffness and caution that is uninviting. Or there may be a syrupy, less-than-authentic sweetness that comes with the hidden plea “please be nice to me and don’t go away!”

Unbeknownst to us, people can sense our distance or coyness or when we are not permeable to love. Without a clear signal, they may surmise that we’re either distant or inauthentic. They may not feel welcomed and, therefore, pull back. Once again, we have pushed away the love we want, thereby reinforcing our hopelessness and reconvincing ourselves that intimate relationships are not for us.

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